you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
