New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You've changed since you got that strap on
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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