and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
