# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
