It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
