this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
