No stitches, just platelets and will power
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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