why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
