like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Randomize
