Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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