I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
