my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Two words: blizzard sex
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
