You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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