Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Reggie can tackle my bush.
should my penis look like a turkey
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
