youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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