OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
