paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
That reminds me...we need to get swords
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
