i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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