gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
