what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
