dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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