I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
he thought i was a dude.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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