I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
