when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
