He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
