I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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