He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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