I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
