I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Drake has all the answers
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
