Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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