I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
