WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
