She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
