Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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