i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
So many bounce houses so little time
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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