Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
