Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
