Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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