just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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