i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
