dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
