why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Is Oprah even human
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
