To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just blew my weed a kiss
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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