who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
