Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
