If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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