no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
