You can't motorboat a personality
Dignity is for republicans.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
