bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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