Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
